1. Love each other
2. Don’t lie
3. Keep communication open
4. Stay sweet
5. When you had a fight, do not let the day pass
6. Give and take process
7. Don’t talk about your stupid ex’s
8. Beware of each other’s feelings
9. Don’t compare your past with your present
10. If you say sorry MEAN IT
11. Forget about “PRIDE”
12. When you get hurt just FORGIVE and FORGET
13. Never talk about break-ups
14. Never say it’s okay when its not
15. Don’t be the perfect one, BE THE RIGHT ONE
Monday, 18 July 2011
Thursday, 14 July 2011
???
Tml is 15/7/2011.. Is the day we tgt for 3rd yrs anniversary... Times really flies... 3rd yrs liao le... Tml i will need to bring my dad to hospital to check up... and u at nite den book out... haha... somemore i also confused that we celebrate is stated as couple or fren anniversary.. hahahahaha..... But i really waiting for the day to come.. Swensen is our final choice le... I still rmb 3yrs ago is our 1st date at Swensen... Somemore is at Plaza Sing.. The 1st and 2yrs did not celebrate at Swensen... Mayb this 3rd yrs we so call celebrate at Swensen le... hehe.... 3yrs ago, our 1st date is juz so loving, sweet and freaking awesome.. but mayb this yr will be different liao le... The feeling or mayb everything...
I really wish that on that day(15/7) i can choose to accept u.. but but but but...... Nvm.. dun said liao le... The feeling is juz not rite at all ba.... I admit that my heart still had u... ur position and place in my heart is really very deep.. But somehow i cant forget de pain and de hurt that gave me... It also hurt till very deep too...
I really need more times... hope that u dun force me or so on le... everything juz tk it nature ba... mayb if we really know each other well and also had more space plus thinking wise, mayb everything will be different le ba....
I dunnoe u wanna me back have any motive or reason or difficulty... but i wish that i wont know it at all.... I also dun wish to guess correct too... Sometime i know u too well but sometime i juz feel that u r stranger to me...
Hao la... dun said so much of this thing liao le... Hope that everything is fine and good on our Sat Outing... Wish to celebrate on Fri.. As is our actual date... But he at nite den book out.. and somemore i need to tk care of my dad till her gf come... let see how ba.... This yr i also did not expect to high too... Everything juz tk it nature ba... =D
I really wish that on that day(15/7) i can choose to accept u.. but but but but...... Nvm.. dun said liao le... The feeling is juz not rite at all ba.... I admit that my heart still had u... ur position and place in my heart is really very deep.. But somehow i cant forget de pain and de hurt that gave me... It also hurt till very deep too...
I really need more times... hope that u dun force me or so on le... everything juz tk it nature ba... mayb if we really know each other well and also had more space plus thinking wise, mayb everything will be different le ba....
I dunnoe u wanna me back have any motive or reason or difficulty... but i wish that i wont know it at all.... I also dun wish to guess correct too... Sometime i know u too well but sometime i juz feel that u r stranger to me...
Hao la... dun said so much of this thing liao le... Hope that everything is fine and good on our Sat Outing... Wish to celebrate on Fri.. As is our actual date... But he at nite den book out.. and somemore i need to tk care of my dad till her gf come... let see how ba.... This yr i also did not expect to high too... Everything juz tk it nature ba... =D
**confused**
It quite a long time i did not blog liao le.. cos too tired and too fang le.... **dunnoe wat to do**
My ex wanted to patch back with me.. but i still consider and consider... dunnoe shld i said yes or no.. This few weeks, he treat me really very very good and nice.. Is it he know tat he really done wrong.. Somemore he wanted to patch back with me, is it tat he so called good fren (Jacklyn) did not wanna be with him.. he always told me he and her is good fren, but i very sure plus confirm with him that he and her is more than fren.. even blind ppls also know about it... She can give u lovebite plus hug u and hold ur hand, is it very common for so called good fren shld do.. den i think i everyday can have different of my good frenz lovebite liao le...
You choose to let go of me de time, u mention that dun1 me to suffer den u now patch back me for?? You mention that dun1 to waste my youth and so on den now wat for wanted to patch back with me?? You said so much and so many of hurtful words and sentences to me but now you wanna patch back with me?? Y?? I did ask u and u told me that u still love me deeply... But if u love me deeply den wat for u still let go my hand?? Wat for u choose to break up?? I really hope that 1day i can know ur ans...
This few week, we somehow like we r tgt again.. my frenz did ask me.. but i said NO... Still consider.. I consider is not that u r not gd enough, is juz that i need more times to consider... We just like couple like that but we r not tgt... as i m still single, so i can choose wat i wanna... i really dun wish that end up, i said yes den end up we quarrel de same things again... I also wish to change my temper too.. As my temper, u also always complain and complain.. said my temper from bad to worst.. said my princess temper, u dunnoe can tanhan for how long.. Said that if i did not change, any guy with me also wont last till marry de... Maybe Wat u said is true.. If i really dun change for the better, i think i can all along no need marry and had my own family liao le... N i always dun1 us always quarrel de same things... Coming 3yrs liao le, but we somehow still quarrel de same things... Mayb we really need more times and more space for us.
Mayb our now stated as very close and good fren is better.. at least as a fren, we really can chat and laugh happily... somemore we last time did not know each other well den we tgt le.. I rather know each other more will be better for us..
My ex wanted to patch back with me.. but i still consider and consider... dunnoe shld i said yes or no.. This few weeks, he treat me really very very good and nice.. Is it he know tat he really done wrong.. Somemore he wanted to patch back with me, is it tat he so called good fren (Jacklyn) did not wanna be with him.. he always told me he and her is good fren, but i very sure plus confirm with him that he and her is more than fren.. even blind ppls also know about it... She can give u lovebite plus hug u and hold ur hand, is it very common for so called good fren shld do.. den i think i everyday can have different of my good frenz lovebite liao le...
You choose to let go of me de time, u mention that dun1 me to suffer den u now patch back me for?? You mention that dun1 to waste my youth and so on den now wat for wanted to patch back with me?? You said so much and so many of hurtful words and sentences to me but now you wanna patch back with me?? Y?? I did ask u and u told me that u still love me deeply... But if u love me deeply den wat for u still let go my hand?? Wat for u choose to break up?? I really hope that 1day i can know ur ans...
This few week, we somehow like we r tgt again.. my frenz did ask me.. but i said NO... Still consider.. I consider is not that u r not gd enough, is juz that i need more times to consider... We just like couple like that but we r not tgt... as i m still single, so i can choose wat i wanna... i really dun wish that end up, i said yes den end up we quarrel de same things again... I also wish to change my temper too.. As my temper, u also always complain and complain.. said my temper from bad to worst.. said my princess temper, u dunnoe can tanhan for how long.. Said that if i did not change, any guy with me also wont last till marry de... Maybe Wat u said is true.. If i really dun change for the better, i think i can all along no need marry and had my own family liao le... N i always dun1 us always quarrel de same things... Coming 3yrs liao le, but we somehow still quarrel de same things... Mayb we really need more times and more space for us.
Mayb our now stated as very close and good fren is better.. at least as a fren, we really can chat and laugh happily... somemore we last time did not know each other well den we tgt le.. I rather know each other more will be better for us..
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Honor Her Practically
With some guys, the house is a wreck. It’s never finished, the furniture’s broken, the car hardly starts, they live far away from community, they don’t have a schedule, they don’t have a budget, they don’t have a plan, the wife doesn’t know what’s going on.
Honor her practically. Do you have a budget? Do you have a schedule? Do you have an integrated plan? Do you have a life?
Honor her practically. Do you have a budget? Do you have a schedule? Do you have an integrated plan? Do you have a life?
Honor Your Wife Financially
Men, you have to work
You've got to work hard. You’ve got to out-work the other men if you want to feed your family. That’s your responsibility as a man. If you want any men to respect you, if you want your wife to respect you, if you want your children to respect you, you pay the bills. You make the money, you feed the family.
We live in this day where there are guys telling their wives,
“Hey, birth control, abortion”
“We can’t have kids”
“You make too much money”
“I don’t like responsibility.”
Shame on you.
You've got to work hard. You’ve got to out-work the other men if you want to feed your family. That’s your responsibility as a man. If you want any men to respect you, if you want your wife to respect you, if you want your children to respect you, you pay the bills. You make the money, you feed the family.
We live in this day where there are guys telling their wives,
“Hey, birth control, abortion”
“We can’t have kids”
“You make too much money”
“I don’t like responsibility.”
Shame on you.
Honor Her Verbally
How do you speak to her? Do you have nasty nicknames for her? Do you raise your voice? Do you threaten her? Do you give back-handed comments? Some of you guys would say, “I would never hit a woman.” How about with your tongue?
When you wife is not there and you’re with the boys, how do you speak of her? What do you say about her?
Dont' put your children in the middle
You know what? Your children will pick this up as well.
You start saying horrible things about your wife, and the children will be left in this horrible position of choosing between their mother and father and invariably some of the children will despise their own mother and speak evil of her in an effort to remain loyal to their father.
A division in a marriage includes the children, they’re stuck in the middle. They’re casualties of the war.
If I close my eyes, no one can see me
You men could defuse this and take away this fear by honoring her verbally. Speaking honestly, respectfully, lovingly to her and about her. Some of you guys forget. You say, “Well, Jesus isn’t there. My wife isn’t there. I get to say whatever I want.” No, Jesus is there even when your wife’s not there. God sees everything. God knows everything, and you’re not getting away with anything.
When you wife is not there and you’re with the boys, how do you speak of her? What do you say about her?
Dont' put your children in the middle
You know what? Your children will pick this up as well.
You start saying horrible things about your wife, and the children will be left in this horrible position of choosing between their mother and father and invariably some of the children will despise their own mother and speak evil of her in an effort to remain loyal to their father.
A division in a marriage includes the children, they’re stuck in the middle. They’re casualties of the war.
If I close my eyes, no one can see me
You men could defuse this and take away this fear by honoring her verbally. Speaking honestly, respectfully, lovingly to her and about her. Some of you guys forget. You say, “Well, Jesus isn’t there. My wife isn’t there. I get to say whatever I want.” No, Jesus is there even when your wife’s not there. God sees everything. God knows everything, and you’re not getting away with anything.
Honor Your Wife Emotionally
Some of you say, “I’m not emotional, I don’t connect.” You should. Men and women have the same emotions; they express them in masculine and feminine ways. Your wife needs intimacy. She wants you to know her. She wants to know you. She wants you to open up. She wants you to be passionate and loving and honest, and she wants to know you and she wants to be known by you. And the Bible says that Adam was with his wife, Eve, and he, what?
He knew her.
There are too many guys that turn marriage into a job description. He does his responsibility, she does hers, and there’s no emotional connection whatsoever. Those are guys whose sins are sins of omission. “I didn’t hit her, I didn’t yell at her.” Yeah, but you didn’t love her. You didn’t connect with her. You didn’t encourage her. You didn’t pursue her.
Ultimately, you failed her.
He knew her.
There are too many guys that turn marriage into a job description. He does his responsibility, she does hers, and there’s no emotional connection whatsoever. Those are guys whose sins are sins of omission. “I didn’t hit her, I didn’t yell at her.” Yeah, but you didn’t love her. You didn’t connect with her. You didn’t encourage her. You didn’t pursue her.
Ultimately, you failed her.
1. You know what, gentlemen? You are stronger than your woman
Do you ever hit her?
Do you ever shove her?
Do you ever push her?
Do you ever grab her, restrain her?
Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her?
Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence?
Do you give her that look, that pierced, glazed, violent, angry, don’t-push-it-now’s-a-good-time-to-shut-up look?
Do you tell her, “I’m getting very angry, you should just shut up right now. It’s gonna go bad for you”?
Do you get right in her face?
Do you intimidate her with your presence?
Shame on you. A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.
Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.
You’ll say, “She’s my wife.” You’re a rapist.
2. Don't hold your wife prisoner
When someone is attacked, we call it abuse. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re abused and you can’t get out. This is like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery. For some women, their version of slavery and captivity and torment is called marriage. Their husband is physically intimidating. She’s afraid of him. She can’t leave, at least that’s what she thinks. She feels stuck, particularly if she’s got children. Some of you guys are tormentors and abusers and rapists and husbands and Christians, and that is absolutely inexcusable.
3. Women, a man who hits you is in sin
Most men don’t walk around thinking about their personal safety. I know a lot of women who do. Does she feel safe with you? Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who has ever been physically violent, run for your life, run for your children’s life, run for your grandchildren’s life. If he’s ever even threatened you with violence, there is something profoundly demonic in that man. There is something sincerely wrong in that man. He will then apologize, tell you he is sorry. He will shed a few tears, say it will never happen again and he will subtly shift the blame to you. “You know when you do that, it just makes me really angry. Don’t do that again.”
“Oh, okay, it must be my fault.” It’s never your fault. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, if a man hits you, harms you, he’s in sin, no excuse.
How to Honor Your Wife
I quite often get asked why I haven't settled down yet, when it seems like many of my peers are in long-term relationships, engaged or getting married.
"You must be too picky lah!" they like to say, with a dismissive wave of hand.
Well, I won't hesitate to admit that in some sense, it is true. I do get asked out and twice, I could have walked down the aisle. But I haven't settled down simply because I don't want to settle.
With so many marriages breaking down these days and divorces occurring, I think a big part of the underlying problem has to do with the fundamental attitudes and beliefs of each person as they enter into a sacred covenant as man and wife. Marriage is NOT something to be taken lightly, or something you do because you want a flat or just because you've been cohabiting for X number of years etc.(which I don't agree with in the first place).
***
Now, my tone is for the men. We speak to men differently than women. Were this a women’s conference, I would not call you all idiots and imbeciles and fools, that you’re a joke, okay? But you men, this is where it needs to go. You’ve been glad-handed and buddied up and positive thinking and you’re a winner and you can do better. And I’m telling you, you’re a joke. And the real men in the room know it and they see it.
Show Honor to Your Wife
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayer may not be hindered. When women, comes to marriage are prone toward, what? Fear. Fear. And you know what? Those fears that the women have about marriage are legitimate.
Your Wife Trusts You with the Rest of Her Life
If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life that he won’t hit her, cheat on her, that he’ll work hard, that he’ll pay the bills, that he’ll love their children, that he’ll finish the race well, that if she gets sick, he’ll look after her, that if she is dying, he will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.
“
Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required.
”
As a man, I don’t think I fully understood this until I had daughters, and now I have some understanding of that fear. The thought of taking one of my daughters and walking them down the aisle and handing them to a man and trusting that he will love them and protect them and serve them and care for them and look after them, it causes me fear and grave concern.
Don't Give Women a Reason to Fear
Women have legitimate fears, and men need to be a particular way so those fears are alleviated. And I love his words, “in an understanding way, showing honor.” That’s a man.
Now as I say this, many of you guys will nod your head and say, “Yeah, that’s me.”
No, you’re not. So let me practically unpack this for you. Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required. And so I want to talk to you men about some things that your woman will fear.
1. Honor Your Wife Maritally
What this means is, gentlemen, you’re not looking for a girlfriend if you are single. You’re not looking for a roommate. You’re not looking for a cohabitation partner. You’re looking for a wife. You must honor her while dating, that is when you're on your best behavior. I don’t care if you apologize, do you repent and lead? Being sorry is not enough; being Christ-like is what is necessary.
What it is to be a one-woman man
When you get married, men, you are to be a one-woman man. That’s the requirement of an elder and that is the example for all men.
You’re not the flirt guy
You’re not the female buddies guy
You’re not the download porn guy
You’re not the “I got another gal on the side I always keep in case of emergency” guy
You’re not the wandering eye guy
If you are, you’re not honoring marriage and you’re not honoring your wife.
Don't make women fearful of men
I know some complete fools, they like to take their wedding ring off when they go out to the sports bar with the boys. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant, take responsibility for the well-being of the woman?
A woman has great fear. If you don’t honor marriage, she is statistically going to go into poverty upon divorce. She will become yet another single mother. She’ll have to find a way to explain to the children of why they shouldn’t be embittered against you even though you’re a loser. See, these fears are very legitimate. Women have seen this so many times that they’re fearful of men.
2. Honor Her Physically
Peter says that the woman is the “weaker vessel”. What that means is, generally speaking, if a husband and a wife get in a fist-fight, he’ll win. I’ll give you an example. Many of you have seen my wife, Grace. If we get in a fight, it’s not a fair fight. I have an 18-inch neck, she has an 18-inch waist. If someone breaks into our home, I’m not, “Go get ‘em, baby. You’re the tough one here. I’ll pray. II’ll pray imprecatory prayers in the closet.”
You know what, gentlemen? You are stronger than your woman
Do you ever hit her?
Do you ever shove her?
Do you ever push her?
Do you ever grab her, restrain her?
Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her?
Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence?
Do you give her that look, that pierced, glazed, violent, angry, don’t-push-it-now’s-a-good-time-to-shut-up look?
Do you tell her, “I’m getting very angry, you should just shut up right now. It’s gonna go bad for you”?
Do you get right in her face?
Do you intimidate her with your presence?
Shame on you. A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.
Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.
You’ll say, “She’s my wife.” You’re a rapist.
Don't hold your wife prisoner
When someone is attacked, we call it abuse. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re abused and you can’t get out. This is like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery. For some women, their version of slavery and captivity and torment is called marriage. Their husband is physically intimidating. She’s afraid of him. She can’t leave, at least that’s what she thinks. She feels stuck, particularly if she’s got children. Some of you guys are tormentors and abusers and rapists.
Women, a man who hits you is in sin
Most men don’t walk around thinking about their personal safety. I know a lot of women who do. Does she feel safe with you? Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who has ever been physically violent, run for your life, run for your children’s life, run for your grandchildren’s life. If he’s ever even threatened you with violence, there is something profoundly demonic in that man. There is something sincerely wrong in that man. He will then apologize, tell you he is sorry. He will shed a few tears, say it will never happen again and he will subtly shift the blame to you. “You know when you do that, it just makes me really angry. Don’t do that again.”
“Oh, okay, it must be my fault.” It’s never your fault. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, if a man hits you, harms you, he’s in sin, no excuse.
Head-of-the-house does not mean bully
And there are some guys, some absolute block-headed idiots who think when the Bible says that you’re the head of the home, that it means you get to be the bully. There’s nothing uglier than a guy who then takes this same disposition toward his children, especially his daughters. The grossest, vilest thing is a man who hits a woman, and the man who hits a woman is willing to hit his own daughter. It’s disgusting.
Do you ever hit her?
Do you ever shove her?
Do you ever push her?
Do you ever grab her, restrain her?
Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her?
Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence?
Do you give her that look, that pierced, glazed, violent, angry, don’t-push-it-now’s-a-good-time-to-shut-up look?
Do you tell her, “I’m getting very angry, you should just shut up right now. It’s gonna go bad for you”?
Do you get right in her face?
Do you intimidate her with your presence?
Shame on you. A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.
Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.
You’ll say, “She’s my wife.” You’re a rapist.
2. Don't hold your wife prisoner
When someone is attacked, we call it abuse. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re abused and you can’t get out. This is like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery. For some women, their version of slavery and captivity and torment is called marriage. Their husband is physically intimidating. She’s afraid of him. She can’t leave, at least that’s what she thinks. She feels stuck, particularly if she’s got children. Some of you guys are tormentors and abusers and rapists and husbands and Christians, and that is absolutely inexcusable.
3. Women, a man who hits you is in sin
Most men don’t walk around thinking about their personal safety. I know a lot of women who do. Does she feel safe with you? Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who has ever been physically violent, run for your life, run for your children’s life, run for your grandchildren’s life. If he’s ever even threatened you with violence, there is something profoundly demonic in that man. There is something sincerely wrong in that man. He will then apologize, tell you he is sorry. He will shed a few tears, say it will never happen again and he will subtly shift the blame to you. “You know when you do that, it just makes me really angry. Don’t do that again.”
“Oh, okay, it must be my fault.” It’s never your fault. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, if a man hits you, harms you, he’s in sin, no excuse.
How to Honor Your Wife
I quite often get asked why I haven't settled down yet, when it seems like many of my peers are in long-term relationships, engaged or getting married.
"You must be too picky lah!" they like to say, with a dismissive wave of hand.
Well, I won't hesitate to admit that in some sense, it is true. I do get asked out and twice, I could have walked down the aisle. But I haven't settled down simply because I don't want to settle.
With so many marriages breaking down these days and divorces occurring, I think a big part of the underlying problem has to do with the fundamental attitudes and beliefs of each person as they enter into a sacred covenant as man and wife. Marriage is NOT something to be taken lightly, or something you do because you want a flat or just because you've been cohabiting for X number of years etc.(which I don't agree with in the first place).
***
Now, my tone is for the men. We speak to men differently than women. Were this a women’s conference, I would not call you all idiots and imbeciles and fools, that you’re a joke, okay? But you men, this is where it needs to go. You’ve been glad-handed and buddied up and positive thinking and you’re a winner and you can do better. And I’m telling you, you’re a joke. And the real men in the room know it and they see it.
Show Honor to Your Wife
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayer may not be hindered. When women, comes to marriage are prone toward, what? Fear. Fear. And you know what? Those fears that the women have about marriage are legitimate.
Your Wife Trusts You with the Rest of Her Life
If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life that he won’t hit her, cheat on her, that he’ll work hard, that he’ll pay the bills, that he’ll love their children, that he’ll finish the race well, that if she gets sick, he’ll look after her, that if she is dying, he will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.
“
Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required.
”
As a man, I don’t think I fully understood this until I had daughters, and now I have some understanding of that fear. The thought of taking one of my daughters and walking them down the aisle and handing them to a man and trusting that he will love them and protect them and serve them and care for them and look after them, it causes me fear and grave concern.
Don't Give Women a Reason to Fear
Women have legitimate fears, and men need to be a particular way so those fears are alleviated. And I love his words, “in an understanding way, showing honor.” That’s a man.
Now as I say this, many of you guys will nod your head and say, “Yeah, that’s me.”
No, you’re not. So let me practically unpack this for you. Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required. And so I want to talk to you men about some things that your woman will fear.
1. Honor Your Wife Maritally
What this means is, gentlemen, you’re not looking for a girlfriend if you are single. You’re not looking for a roommate. You’re not looking for a cohabitation partner. You’re looking for a wife. You must honor her while dating, that is when you're on your best behavior. I don’t care if you apologize, do you repent and lead? Being sorry is not enough; being Christ-like is what is necessary.
What it is to be a one-woman man
When you get married, men, you are to be a one-woman man. That’s the requirement of an elder and that is the example for all men.
You’re not the flirt guy
You’re not the female buddies guy
You’re not the download porn guy
You’re not the “I got another gal on the side I always keep in case of emergency” guy
You’re not the wandering eye guy
If you are, you’re not honoring marriage and you’re not honoring your wife.
Don't make women fearful of men
I know some complete fools, they like to take their wedding ring off when they go out to the sports bar with the boys. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant, take responsibility for the well-being of the woman?
A woman has great fear. If you don’t honor marriage, she is statistically going to go into poverty upon divorce. She will become yet another single mother. She’ll have to find a way to explain to the children of why they shouldn’t be embittered against you even though you’re a loser. See, these fears are very legitimate. Women have seen this so many times that they’re fearful of men.
2. Honor Her Physically
Peter says that the woman is the “weaker vessel”. What that means is, generally speaking, if a husband and a wife get in a fist-fight, he’ll win. I’ll give you an example. Many of you have seen my wife, Grace. If we get in a fight, it’s not a fair fight. I have an 18-inch neck, she has an 18-inch waist. If someone breaks into our home, I’m not, “Go get ‘em, baby. You’re the tough one here. I’ll pray. II’ll pray imprecatory prayers in the closet.”
You know what, gentlemen? You are stronger than your woman
Do you ever hit her?
Do you ever shove her?
Do you ever push her?
Do you ever grab her, restrain her?
Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her?
Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence?
Do you give her that look, that pierced, glazed, violent, angry, don’t-push-it-now’s-a-good-time-to-shut-up look?
Do you tell her, “I’m getting very angry, you should just shut up right now. It’s gonna go bad for you”?
Do you get right in her face?
Do you intimidate her with your presence?
Shame on you. A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.
Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.
You’ll say, “She’s my wife.” You’re a rapist.
Don't hold your wife prisoner
When someone is attacked, we call it abuse. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re abused and you can’t get out. This is like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery. For some women, their version of slavery and captivity and torment is called marriage. Their husband is physically intimidating. She’s afraid of him. She can’t leave, at least that’s what she thinks. She feels stuck, particularly if she’s got children. Some of you guys are tormentors and abusers and rapists.
Women, a man who hits you is in sin
Most men don’t walk around thinking about their personal safety. I know a lot of women who do. Does she feel safe with you? Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who has ever been physically violent, run for your life, run for your children’s life, run for your grandchildren’s life. If he’s ever even threatened you with violence, there is something profoundly demonic in that man. There is something sincerely wrong in that man. He will then apologize, tell you he is sorry. He will shed a few tears, say it will never happen again and he will subtly shift the blame to you. “You know when you do that, it just makes me really angry. Don’t do that again.”
“Oh, okay, it must be my fault.” It’s never your fault. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, if a man hits you, harms you, he’s in sin, no excuse.
Head-of-the-house does not mean bully
And there are some guys, some absolute block-headed idiots who think when the Bible says that you’re the head of the home, that it means you get to be the bully. There’s nothing uglier than a guy who then takes this same disposition toward his children, especially his daughters. The grossest, vilest thing is a man who hits a woman, and the man who hits a woman is willing to hit his own daughter. It’s disgusting.
When you get married, men, you are to be a one-woman man. That’s the requirement of an elder and that is the example for all men.
You’re not the flirt guy
You’re not the female buddies guy
You’re not the download porn guy
You’re not the “I got another gal on the side I always keep in case of emergency” guy
You’re not the wandering eye guy
If you are, you’re not honoring marriage and you’re not honoring your wife.
Don't make women fearful of men
I know some complete fools, they like to take their wedding ring off when they go out to the sports bar with the boys. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant, take responsibility for the well-being of the woman?
A woman has great fear. If you don’t honor marriage, she is statistically going to go into poverty upon divorce. She will become yet another single mother. She’ll have to find a way to explain to the children of why they shouldn’t be embittered against you even though you’re a loser. See, these fears are very legitimate. Women have seen this so many times that they’re fearful of men.
You’re not the flirt guy
You’re not the female buddies guy
You’re not the download porn guy
You’re not the “I got another gal on the side I always keep in case of emergency” guy
You’re not the wandering eye guy
If you are, you’re not honoring marriage and you’re not honoring your wife.
Don't make women fearful of men
I know some complete fools, they like to take their wedding ring off when they go out to the sports bar with the boys. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant, take responsibility for the well-being of the woman?
A woman has great fear. If you don’t honor marriage, she is statistically going to go into poverty upon divorce. She will become yet another single mother. She’ll have to find a way to explain to the children of why they shouldn’t be embittered against you even though you’re a loser. See, these fears are very legitimate. Women have seen this so many times that they’re fearful of men.
1. Your Wife Trusts You with the Rest of Her Life
If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life that he won’t hit her, cheat on her, that he’ll work hard, that he’ll pay the bills, that he’ll love their children, that he’ll finish the race well, that he’ll walk with Jesus until the end, that if she gets sick, he’ll look after her, that if she is dying, he will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.
“
Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required.
”
As a man, I don’t think I fully understood this until I had daughters, and now I have some understanding of that fear. The thought of taking one of my daughters and walking them down the aisle and handing them to a man and trusting that he will love them and protect them and serve them and care for them and look after them, it causes me fear and grave concern.
2. Don't Give Women a Reason to Fear
Women have legitimate fears, and what Peter is saying is that men need to be a particular way so those fears are alleviated. And I love his words, “in an understanding way, showing honor.” That’s a man.
Now as I say this, many of you guys will nod your head and say, “Yeah, that’s me.”
No, you’re not. So let me practically unpack this for you. Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required. And so I want to talk to you men about some things that your woman will fear.
If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life that he won’t hit her, cheat on her, that he’ll work hard, that he’ll pay the bills, that he’ll love their children, that he’ll finish the race well, that he’ll walk with Jesus until the end, that if she gets sick, he’ll look after her, that if she is dying, he will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.
“
Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required.
”
As a man, I don’t think I fully understood this until I had daughters, and now I have some understanding of that fear. The thought of taking one of my daughters and walking them down the aisle and handing them to a man and trusting that he will love them and protect them and serve them and care for them and look after them, it causes me fear and grave concern.
2. Don't Give Women a Reason to Fear
Women have legitimate fears, and what Peter is saying is that men need to be a particular way so those fears are alleviated. And I love his words, “in an understanding way, showing honor.” That’s a man.
Now as I say this, many of you guys will nod your head and say, “Yeah, that’s me.”
No, you’re not. So let me practically unpack this for you. Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required. And so I want to talk to you men about some things that your woman will fear.
Friday, 1 July 2011
你痛了累了想开了、舍不得却还是放手了
你是不是心里有一个不可能的人 发了疯的想拚了命的忘
你是不是奋不顾身了 谁劝你都没用了
你是不是被他伤了 哭了闹了颓废了
你是不是想不明白了 他爱的人哪好了你又哪差了
你是不是把自己伪装的很好了但你知道心空了
你是不是坚持很久很久了 你以为他会感动的 但结果呢？
你是不是就是不服气了 非要得到不可呢？
你是不是不想理他又忍不住呢？
你等他等他等他可他又在等谁呢？
你发过的誓流过的泪管用了么？
最后呢
心痛了
自己丢了
颓废了
想开了
挥手了
舍不得却不得不放开了
你是不是奋不顾身了 谁劝你都没用了
你是不是被他伤了 哭了闹了颓废了
你是不是想不明白了 他爱的人哪好了你又哪差了
你是不是把自己伪装的很好了但你知道心空了
你是不是坚持很久很久了 你以为他会感动的 但结果呢？
你是不是就是不服气了 非要得到不可呢？
你是不是不想理他又忍不住呢？
你等他等他等他可他又在等谁呢？
你发过的誓流过的泪管用了么？
最后呢
心痛了
自己丢了
颓废了
想开了
挥手了
舍不得却不得不放开了
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